


In which everyone has a bizarre pet and the lead roles sit under a random tree in a random park and be cute little assholes

by Karkalicous413



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/M, Fluff, Genderswap, casey you lil shit, cuteness, sweet dave, this is the sweetest shit ive ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-11
Updated: 2013-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-08 04:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karkalicous413/pseuds/Karkalicous413
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Joan Egbert, and everything sucks so much right now.</p><p>Your pet salamander Casey - who you love more than anything in the world, even your brother Jaden - is lost. You thought it was a good idea to let her get some fresh air and a little exercise outside of the usual scampers around her unnecessarily huge cage. Of course, you didn't think that maybe a salamander was too small for you to be able to see her, even with the bright yellow of her scales that you kept as clean as possible. You also didn't think that in the two short seconds it took for you too look for a bench that wasn't too far away from a nice empty field that she would somehow manage to run away.</p><p>((so yeah this is my first thing here so read it because its a thing that i did))</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which everyone has a bizarre pet and the lead roles sit under a random tree in a random park and be cute little assholes

**Author's Note:**

> uhhh, hi? yeah so this is the first story i've posted on here, just to have something up, and also my first thing written in second person. so go read and i'll just leave you alone.

Your name is Joan Egbert, and everything sucks so much right now.

Your pet salamander Casey - who you love more than anything in the world, even your brother Jaden - is lost. You thought it was a good idea to let her get some fresh air and a little exercise outside of the usual scampers around her unnecessarily huge cage. Of course, you didn't think that maybe a salamander was too small for you to be able to see her, even with the bright yellow of her scales that you kept as clean as possible. You also didn't think that in the two short seconds it took for you too look for a bench that wasn't too far away from a nice empty field that she would somehow manage to run away.

You really weren't expecting that.

So now here you sat, tears streaming down your face and legs pulled to your chest under a random oak tree. You lost your best (and sometimes only) friend and you really have absolutely no clue what to do in this situation. You just sit there sobbing instead of continuing your search, putting in a few more hours into the ones you already spent looking for her the first time. You’re going to be alone forever now, with no one to brighten your day or to make you smile when you come home from a particularly terrible day of school. No one to make adorable little ‘bluh’ sounds for you to make you laugh, or for you to talk to about your problems so they don’t just stay bottled up, causing you to suddenly snap one day and go on a total rampage and kill everyone and not care at all and just be so cold hearted and vindictive and conniving and-

You are so deep in your thoughts of how your life will come spiralling down with the lose of your beloved pet salamander that you don’t notice the blond guy casually sit next to you. In the coolest way possible of course.

“Sup”

You jump and look up, finally noticing his presence. Even though your vision is blurred by the tears on your glasses, you can still make out his pale blond hair and dark round shades. You don’t really know if he’s wearing them because he has a sight problem, or if he’s just some huge jerk that wears shades all the time because he thinks it makes him look ‘cool’. You also don’t really care right now either. He speaks again, and you notice he speaks with a southern accent.

“Hey man, why are you cryin’?”

“Huh?” you ask, wiping your face with the back of your hand.

He sighs and raises and raises an eyebrow “I said, why are you crying? I mean, you’re cute so it can’t be over your boyfriend breaking up with you, and I don’t think you dropped a glass of apple juice, as heartbreaking as that is to even think about.”

You giggle a little, you like him, he’s funny. You shake your head, “Well, i don’t have a boyfriend so that's not gonna be a problem,” you think he perks up a little - nah it was probably your imagination, “and I haven’t had any apple juice in weeks, so that's not it either.”

You get a little sad as you remember the reason why you were crying. You've stopped by now, something you want to feel really bad about, - you just lost sweet innocent little Casey, she could be anywhere, she could be hurt! - but for some reason, you just can’t bring yourself to be upset while this guy is here. You don’t even know him. Crazy stuff man.

You sniff again, feeling the your eyes start to sting with fresh tears once again, the guy gets a concerned look on his face before his causal poker face slides back into place.

“Hey, man, you ok? You wanna talk about it or summin?”

You can tell he’s kind of out of his element, which you find oddly adorable. Again, crazy stuff. You sniff again and look down at your knees.

“Its just that...I lost my best friend” At his look you add, “My pet salamander, Casey”

He nods understandingly “Oh, I understand. Trust me I know what you’re going through,”

You peek up at him through your dark hair. “Y-you do?” your voice is quiet. He nods again.

“Yup, used to visit my grandparents in Florida a lot, there was a swamp not to far away from the house, and i got kinda attached to an alligator there.”

You giggle and hit him lightly on the shoulder. “Nice joke, dude, having an alligator as a pet, riiiiiiight.”

He laughs a little and shakes his head “No man, this is legit. He was cool, he was a baby so he was small - i’m not gonna mess with a huge grown up one, i’m not about that life - and he would make this weird little ‘nak’-ing noise, and if the light hit him just right, he’d look red and lemme tell you, that was the coolest thing i’d ever seen.”

You watched him as he ranted about his beloved pet alligator. His pale blond hair caught the light from the sun, and it glowed, making it look like the light was his own, like he was luminescent. He skin glowed and the white of his shirt looked brighter than before, he looked like an angel, bright and pure and relaxed. You felt a warm blush creep up your cheeks as you studied him, finding yourself more and more trapped by him and just...him. 

Then you realized he was still talking and you weren't listening. Oops.

“...and then one day I came back to chill with my favorite Nakodile and he wasn't there, and my granddad had a brand new belt that looked ridiculously like naks scales.” 

He said that so casually, you notice, like it wasn't that big of a deal, but at the same time, you noticed how his shoulders slumped a little and his smile got a little less bright.

“Wow really? What’d you do?”

He looked over at you, a smirk on his lips. “The only thing I could do, made the old man’s life a living hell every time i came to visit.”

You snorted a laugh at this, your hands coming to cover your mouth. You really hated your smile and you’re not going to let a hot guy see your ridiculously huge overbite. Nope. No sirree. He reaches forward and gently grabs your wrist, tugging it softly to pull it away from your mouth. You look up at him questioningly.

“W-what are you...?”

He cuts you off. “Don’t hide your smile. I like it.”

A warm blush covers your cheeks, oh. oh ok. You pull your hand back, awkwardly using it to wrap around your legs again. He nods approvingly and gives you a thumbs up. Then you realize, you never learned his name.

“Oh hey uh what's your-” You start.

“So uh, what’s your-” He also starts.

You both pause and laugh, grins on both your faces. You gesture toward him,

“You go first.”

He nods, “Ok. So uh I never learned your name. I'm Strider. Dave Strider.” He ironically pops his collar. Or, at least you get the vibe that he did it ironically. 

You laugh at him, feeling something in your chest flutter when you get a wide grin back. 

“I’m Joan, Joan Egbert, of the Washington Egberts. Charmed, I’m sure.” You say holding your hand out as if you were a queen. You weren't really expecting him to grab your hand and kiss your knuckles like some kind of knight, but that's what happened. That was totally a thing that happened. You turn pink and you try not to notice how his face is a little redder than it was before. You both stare at the other for a while, until you snap out of it and gently take your hand back, looking down at the grass next to you. 

 

“Charmed indeed....” He says with a soft laugh. You two start up a new conversation, not about anything important, and you learn that he’s from Texas and just moved up here. You also learn that he’s staying in an apartment building not too far from where you live, and will be attending your school after summer. He looks up casually as he speaks, while you look down at the grass under your hand. You look at him questioningly when he stops mid sentence and grunts.

“What the...”

You gasp and a wide grin spreads across your face. You barely take note of how much you've grinned since he came over and talked to you. There, sprawled across Dave's surprised face is your beloved, bright yellow little amphibian, covered in little splotches of dirt. You give a little happy squeal as you grab her of his face and cuddle her close.

“Casey! There you are, where have you been! I've been looking all over for you!”

Casey gives a sleepy sounding bluh and snuggles closer to you, wiggling her little body around until she was comfortably curled up in your hand. You smile down at her, then at Dave.

“I take it that’s yours?” He has a smirk on his face, not a smug one, but a ‘I’m happy for you’ smirk.

You nod happily and giggle. “Yes, this is mine! Dave, this is Casey. Casey, this is Dave.”

Casey raised her little head to look at Dave, who gave her a sup nod. You broke out into laughter when she gave a little nod back, then curled up once more. You and Dave sit and talk a little more before you notice it start to get dark out. You stand up and stretch your back, noticing him do the same. You turn to him with a smile.

“Well its getting late, and my Dad’s probably starting to worry. It was really nice meeting you Dave! Maybe we could meet up again?”

He nods and casually sticks his hands in his pockets. “Hey, why don’t I walk you home? It’s getting dark out, and I’d feel bad if anything happened to you and Casey. Mostly Casey.”

You giggle and nod. He walks you home and gives you his number at your door. Before you go inside, he asks you if you’d want to see a movie with him this Saturday, and you quickly agree. He nods and tells you he’ll pick you up, and its his treat. You tried to convince him to let you pay, but he just smirked and shook his head. You honestly have no idea why you didn't put up more of a fight like you usually would. With a little sigh, you agree and give him a hug before dashing into the house, giving a slight wave and a “I’ll call you later, bye Dave! Thanks again!”

You can hear him laugh before he leaves tossing a quick “Later Egbert” as he goes. You are unbelievably excited.

You are Joan Egbert, and everything is really really great right now.

 

~*ThE MiRaCuLoUs EnD*~

:o)

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah thats it, i hope it wasn't shit. i' probably gonna post a vantascest smut thing that i wrote on valentines day eventually...its on tumblr if you somehow manage to find it.
> 
> (( [Also Follow me if you want](http://mogars-coming.tumblr.com/) ))


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